Unsure

Does anyone fully realize just how much it sucks to go from feeling like you have all the opportunities in the world to realizing that you have absolutely zilch available to you? That's how I feel right now. I feel like there are so many things I wanna do, but I have debt hanging over me and I don't have the money to start anything new.

I have found a couple of programs that I am extremely interested in, but I don't yet have the means to partake in any of them. I just have to believe that I will make it happen one day. It may not be today, or tomorrow. However, one day I will get to do all the things I want to do now but cannot afford.

Life

As of right now, I have no plans for life. For the first time ever I am at a complete square zero. I can't even really say square 1 because that would imply I have some inkling as to what my next move will be. While I can't sit here and map out the rest of my life ( which you all know is KILLING me right now) I decided to write a list of things I do know that I want in life. Even though I don't know when/ how I am going to get them, I know I want them. For now, that'll have to do.....

1. A job in Europe
2. Skydiving
3. Learn to Salsa dance
4. True Love
5. Nieces and Nephews (but I'm willing to wait for awhile on that!)
6. Laughter. Lots and Lots of Laughter!
7. To be a bridesmaid
8. To set foot in every continent.
9. Swim in the Coral Reef.
10. To make a difference in someone else's life.
11. Dance in the rain.
12.To die knowing that I lived life to the fullest.

This may not seem like much to a lot of people, however for me it's my current "plan." In the absence of a real plan, this will have to do.