Arms of an angel

12 years. 12 freaking years since I last saw your face. Since I last heard you speak. Since I saw your beautiful and oh so sweet smile. God I miss you. I miss wrestling with you, listening to lots of loud music, and even your crazy driving. I miss your laugh. I miss the way it felt for you to be around. I MISS YOU. It still hurts me to know that I won't see you walking into the room with a bag of candy for all of us kids to eat. I half expect you to show up at my doorstep and kick me out of my room. I loved it when you visited. You were always so much fun ( and when you were around, you were the boss) You had mom wrapped around your finger. You were her baby brother. She could never say no to you.

I love you so much. My heart aches every time I think of you. I feel as though this will never change. You changed my life, and for that I thank you. But just so you know, when we meet again I will first love you like you wouldn't believe and then I will kick your ass.

With all of my heart and soul,

Your favorite niece.

Life.. or something like it.

I can't believe it's already November. I feel as though the months are whizzing by. Normally, I really enjoy November and December because I love to cook Thanksgiving dinner and spend time with my family. I love to bake 20 different types of cookies and hand out cookie baskets to everyone I know. Normally, I love these things. Right now however, I do not. I don't feel like putting a smile on my face and entertaining everyone else, when in reality all I can think about is how shitty some people are. Or how I can't stand the sight of someone. Or how instead of making stupid chit chat smalltalk, I would rather be sticking needles into my eye. For some reason, I am just not up to it this year. I don't want to deal with it. I want to simply curl into a ball, climb into bed, and sleep through the holiday season. That is how I want to spend the next couple of months. I'll hibernate until January. See you then.

Plans

I have decided to apply to a Cultural Ambassadors program to teach English in Spain for a year. I honestly think my time in Europe is not over. Every single day I have a gut feeling that I need to go back. Not just that I want to go back, but that I NEED to go back. I really hope I get it. This will not only give me the direction that I need, but also will provide me with the adventure I crave!

http://www.mec.es/sgci/usa/en/programs/us_assistants/default.shtml