Clarification

Ok, so I don' really know who reads these, but for those of you that do, here are a few clarifications/facts about my life right now.

NO- I am NOT myself. I have been working a ridiculous number of hours. I am cranky ( in all honesty, it is inevitable) I worked 140 hours on one two week pay period.. Unfortunately you'll have to deal with it. I promise I'll try to not be cranky, but sometimes it just happens.

NO- I am NOT depressed. Some may think that I am "Debbie Downer" or "Negative Nancy" However, you have to look at things from my point of view right now. My job is finished in 3 weeks. After the next 3 weeks I have zero idea as to what direction my life is going. Obviously part of me is excited about the possibilities that are out there. BUT- if you think about the person that I am and always have been then this will make a lot of sense to you. When I was younger I always knew my plan was going to be to go to college. So I worked my ass off to get to UW. When I went to UW, I knew I wanted to major in Business. So I worked my ass off to get into the Business School. When I got into the Business School, I knew I wanted to study abroad in Spain. Therefore I worked my ass off to get into a program to study abroad in Spain. When I came back, I knew I wanted to graduate so I worked my ass off and graduated.

NOW? I have zero clue as to what is going to happen! I have a ton of ideas/dreams however I don't yet know how I'm going to make them happen and I don't know how my bills are gonna get paid in the meantime. It's stressing me out, but I'm not depressed.

If it seems like I'm upset or depressed, it's because at every point in time my mind is swirling with a million different ideas/worries/thoughts/ dreams. I have so many things that I want to do and experience that I am simply trying to figure out how to make that happen. But rest assure, once I come up with a plan, I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.

So please, for now just bear with me.

Also, for those of you that know me, You should realize that I need adventure. I need to find something that is going to make me feel like I am living my life to the fullest. I need to find something that is different, or exciting. So if I move away for awhile, it's not because I'm running from my life here or because I don't love my family and friends here. If I go somewhere else for awhile it's because I need to experience something different. Some of you may think that Spain has already been done, however there is STILL so so much that I want to do abroad that I think the best thing for me to do is to do it now while I still can. Before I get tied down with a ton of responsibilities and other stuff.

I need to LIVE MY LIFE. I need to EXPERIENCE WHAT IT IS TO BE ME. I need to EXPAND MY HORIZONS and GROW AS A PERSON.

Let me Grow. Let me do the things I wanna do. Let me live my life the way I deserve to live it and experience everything that I deserve to experience.

But anyway- don't worry about me. Even though I am stressed out and am clearly not myself, I am fine. I will be fine. Just continue to show me your support and love me and I will get through this patch of uncertainty and I will not only survive, but I will THRIVE.